Your Momma Jokes – for Accountants

Are you always the losing party in “Your Momma” stand-offs?

Does that damned Johnson keep besting you with his verbal musing about your mother?

Does your nerd-like personality prevent you from fighting back with punchy on-liners of your own?

Are the standard “Your Momma” jokes beneath your intelligence level?

Am I going to keep asking questions?


Well today, you’re in luck! I present to you a few “Your Momma” jokes that fit your discerning taste and intelligence.

May I present (in an extraordinarily anti-climactic fashion): Your Momma Jokes for Accountants.


Your Momma is so poor; she has very little discretionary income after taxes and cost of living expenses.


Your Momma is so poor; her net worth, when compared to the national average, is in the bottom 1% of all American households.


Your Momma is so stupid; she contributes less than $4000 a year to her IRA.


Your Momma is so stupid; her earning potential is limited by her lack of a college degree.


Your Momma is so ugly; she’s ineligible for many careers where success hinges heavily on appearance and attractiveness.


Your Momma is so fat; her health insurance premiums are automatically 25 to 30 percent higher than over 80% of women in her age group.


Your Momma is so fat; when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a disproportionately large volume of water compared to the average American.


Your Momma is so fat; she has put herself at greater risk for Heart Disease and Type II Diabetes.

3 thoughts on “Your Momma Jokes – for Accountants

  1. John Walkenbach

    I assumed that you just copied these from some professional comedy web site. But they appear to be original jokes. I can’t believe you’re just giving them away. Jay Leno would probably pay $100 each. Letterman could turn this into a top-10 list, and pay the usual $2,500.

  2. datapig

    John: All but the last two are original. There are variations of the last two floating around the web.

    I didn’t know I could sell jokes to Letterman.

    “The usual $2,5000”?

    Sounds like you’ve done this before.

  3. AlexJ

    How about:

    Your Momma is so slow that she doesn’t know the difference between “punchy on-liners” and “punchy ONE-liners” ?

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