This Blog is Back in Business

Hey there…remember me? Today is my first post in months.

I’m back in the saddle, ready to resume regular posting. I’ve got a bunch of cool new things to show you over the next year. Some are tricks with the current version of Excel; others are things I learned in Office 2013. I’ll start those on Monday.

.

First, I’ll summarize my last few months.

I know you’ve all been losing sleep wondering what’s going on with DataPig.

.

I wrote a book with Dick Kusleika

Dick Kusleika (of DailyDoseofExcel fame) partnered with me to update the Access Bible for the new version of Access 2013. I know what you’re thinking. How is it that two Excel MVPs are updating the Access book? We’re just that cool.  No that’s not true. We had a ghost author; literally. The previous author for this book passed away and Wiley asked us to step in.
.
I didn’t know the previous author, but he obviously was an excellent Access developer and author.

.

I wrote a book with Bill Jelen

Bill Jelen and I updated our PivotTable Data Crunching book for Excel 2013. This was a big update of the book. Excel 2013 offers lots of cool new features in the realm of pivot tables and business intelligence. We put a ton of new stuff into the book and I’m excited to share some of the new tricks here in the coming months.

.

.

I Took a Shot at Stand-Up Comedy

On a dare from Mrs. Pig, I went on stage during an Open Mic night at a comedy club in Dallas. I didn’t bomb, but that’s probably because the audience is gentler on Open Mic night.

Anyway, I can say I did it. I’m 40 years of age, and too dug into the cushy family life to start hitting the road with my act. I know it’s a loss to the entertainment world, but that will be my first and only stand-up comedy gig. Here are some of the cleaner jokes from my 5 minute act (which to my surprise, turned out to be pretty filthy and unsuitable for this blog).
.

  • You never hear about Elvis sightings anymore. So I figure either Elvis is dead, or everyone that gives a shit is dead.
  • I believe in same sex marriage. Why should heterosexuals be the only ones forced to have the same sex year after year.
  • I used to be a single Dad. Until I started dating this wonderful girl. She said she wanted to have my babies. So I dropped off my kids and left.
  • Unwritten rule. If you’re a birthday clown, no matter how nervous you are – you can’t picture the audience naked.
  • My son told me his biggest fear is being attacked in the shower. I guess I should stop doing that.
  • I had a horrible time at the movies the other night, everywhere I went people were like “This seat is taken” and “Someone is sitting here”. I’ll tell you what – people at the Drive-In are rude.
  • My wife recently enrolled our kids into a Montessori school. Apparently Montessori is the Italian word for expensive.
  • It’s true that all around the world, talk is cheap. Except in Thailand. In Thailand, oral is cheap.

.

Mrs. Pig and I went deaf on Halloween

Here is what happens when you let children have too much candy.

.

Excel Dashboards and Reports 2013

I’m still working on an update to the Excel Dashboards and Reports book.

I’m completely redoing it to include more SQL Server stuff, more Mapping dashboards, and other new tricks.

.

I guess that’s it. I miss posting stuff on this blog, so I’m ready to get started! Monday.

Have a great weekend.

9 thoughts on “This Blog is Back in Business

  1. John Walkenbach

    And what’s with embedding Windows Media Player? Nobody does that anymore. You’re living in a time warp, man. I had to watch that video in Internet Explorer.

    Reader Tip: If you’re thinking of firing up Internet Explorer so you can watch that video, DON’T DO IT. Just don’t. Trust me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *