It’s summer time and blog readership will be down. So I’m saving my good Excel and Access tricks for later. Right now, I’m continuing my ‘Road of the Excel Bastards’ series.
Today’s Excel Bastard is John Walkenbach!
John is the prolific writer of over 40 Excel related books, whose spreadsheetpage site remains one of the more popular Excel sites. His interests are made well known through his entertaining j-walk blog.
Here is my jarring interview with John Walkenbach, Excel Guru.
DataPig: What’s your favorite thing in your refrigerator right now?
John: If I had answered this question yesterday, I would have said, “that container of banana split ice cream that has never been opened.” But, now that it’s been opened and sampled, I change my mind. It doesn’t even taste like bananas, and there’s not even the slightest hint of split. So I’ll go with that jar of Major Grey’s Chutney that’s in the lower shelf on the door (left side). It has about 1/8 of an inch of chutney left. I think we brought it with us when we moved from San Diego six years ago. I’m sure it’s still good
Blech! Don’t you have any baking soda, dried out butter, or anything that beats chutney?
DataPig: Red Shirt or Blue?
John: Coincidentally, I’m wearing a blue shirt right now. But it’s one of those shirts that I wear only because there’s not many other good shirts to choose from. But even if I had a real choice, I’d go for the blue over the red any day. Well, I do have a pretty good red shirt — but it’s more orange, I think
DataPig: How many hats do you have?
John: The answer is 23. And 95.65% of them are baseball caps.
For you PowerPoint MVPs, that means 22 are baseball caps, and the other one is this.
DataPig: Who plays your role in a movie about Excel?
John: That’s easy. Ed Wynn. The only problem is, he’s dead. So I’ll go with Abe Vigoda.
Maybe I was wrong about that one hat. I bet John’s mystery hat is one of these.
DataPig: Which Superpower do you want: Invisibility, Flight, Strength, or Mind Reading?
John:
Invisibility — for obvious locker room related reasons.
DataPig: What’s the title of your autobiography?
John: “My Life As the World’s Best Banjo Playing Excel Guru In Northwest Tucson,” by Steve Martin
DataPig: Who do you like better, Tom or Jerry?
John: This is such a stupid question that I refuse to answer. OK, Jerry. He’s the dog, right?
Not exactly, but that’ll do.
DataPig: What’s the most important part of the sandwich?
John: The first bite. After that, it’s usually downhill.
Sometimes one bite is all you need.
DataPig: What’s the Best thing you ever ate?
John:
Major Grey’s Chutney, back in 2004.
DataPig: What’s the Worst thing you ever ate?
John:
Major Grey’s Chutney, about 10 minutes ago.
Hilarious. You obvioulsy have WAY too much time on your hands. Are you going to “interview” yourself?
Janice: I’ll definately interview myself. That will be the grand finale to the summer hoopla.
Jon Peltier would no doubt say that the biggest excel bastard is 2007