On his blog, John Walkenbach announces that he hates cupcakes. He says:
"Cupcakes are a waste of effort, and a waste of paper. If I want to eat cake, I'll cut a man-sized piece from a real cake."
I couldn't agree more. I only eat the top part and throw the rest away.
I'll take John's lead and announce that I hate oranges.
Oranges are a lot of work, for not a lot of reward. When you decide to eat an orange, it's a commitment in time. You're looking at about 15 minutes of work. You have to be in a place where you can deal with the peels and the seeds. It's awful. I think an orange is a lot like an iPod Touch. It looks attractive, but when you get in there, it's turns out to be a lot fiddling for nothing. I could be doing something useful like reading or eating Bacon.
An apple, on the other hand, is a working man's fruit. You can eat it on the go. You can eat it core and all (like a man). If you don't want to eat the core, you just toss it out the window. Screw it – it's bio-degradable.
By the way, I tried to Google "I Hate Oranges" – just to see if anyone shares my feelings. I got a couple of unexpected results:
I personally can't argue against either of these statements. I, in fact, do not like orange urine.
As for orange "bitches", I haven't met any. But if they're anything like actual oranges, I'm sure they would annoy me.
Do I have the nerve to copy some of your text , do a 'replace all' on 'oranges' with 'orange bitches', and post it in the comments? Do I? Hell yes.
I think an orange bitch is a lot like an iPod Touch. It looks attractive, but when you get in there, it's turns out to be a lot fiddling for nothing.
Me again: I take it you have met a few of these 'orange btiches'.
Reminds me of grapefruits too. So much work for little return. On top of all the work with oranges, you get sticky fingers and orange juice all over the place.
I would like to add Kiwi fruits, if you want it in a fruit salad you have to peel it and slice it all the while getting juice everywhere, if you just want to eat it, you have to slice the top off and eat it like an egg! So who the hell carries a spoon and a knife around with them (apart from you gansgters out there).
(and it tastes like reconstituted cardboard!)
I believe the "Orange Bitches" may have to do with female guidos. Just a thought.
Pete C…don't mess with our National fruit. They're fresh when they leave here and taste nothing like cardboard…are you sure you're eating the fruit and not the cartons we pack them in?
@Pete C: real men eat kiwifruit skin and all, especially the golden variety. They're our apples! Youcan always spit out the furry bits!
Traten otros del gobierno
del mundo y sus monarquías,
mientras gobiernan mis días
mantequillas y pan tierno,
y las mañanas de invierno
naranjada y aguardiente.
y ríase la gente.
Luis de Góngora y Argote (1561 – 1627)
Real men don't eat fruit, unless wrapped in bacon and deep fried.
Jon…that's our prime 'enforcement' method in our gangster society down here…we wrap victums in bacon, deep fry them, then force them to eat oranges.
You've set up a straw man with your analogy:
You could eat an orange the same way as an apple… if you're a man.
You have the same arguments for all the parts:
apple core = orange peel = biodegradeable
or
apple core = orange peel = edible, though not very tasty.
But I will give you one argument:
oranges will be more juicy than apples, thus more sticky.