Here in America, it is almost Halloween. Which means it’s almost time for the inevitable ‘Halloween Costume Day’. What is Halloween costume day? It’s a day where, in the name of fun, all employees are encouraged to dress up in a costume for the day. This means the people you normally hate are now working around you dressed as robots and other stuff.
Every costume day has the same cliché costumes.
This is usually the young (still relatively handsome) guy who is still on the dating scene. With the annoying vampire trend lately (Twilight, True Blood, and other crappy vampire shows), we’ll be seeing lots of these goofballs walking around. My opinion – if this guy can dress like a vampire, I should be able to dress like a vampire hunter.
This is typically the annoying accounts-payable guy who is way too serious about the office costume contest. He waits all year for this one pathetic moment of recognition. I’d feel bad for him if he wasn’t such a tool. By the way…It’s fun to stop this guy at the door of the building and refuse to let him in before you see his badge.
The Office Flirt:
There is always that one attractive girl who takes it right to the “soft-core” line. She’s typically a flirt in everyday life. But on costume day, she’s usually dressed up like Little Red Riding Hood, or a Sexy Pirate of some sort. She once wanted be in Hollywood, but now she’s in Supply Chain Management.
The Afro Guy:
This guy is typically your 40-something manager who is still pulling the afro hippie shtick. I always wonder if what he’ll do if a crisis arises on costume day. Will he sit in a conference room with the other executives dressed like that? I always imagine the CEO saying something like “Well if you spent more time on your job as you spent on that costume…” I’m sure he’d take the wig off, but that would leave him with sweaty wig head. Either way, he’s screwed.
The Drag Guy:
Here’s breaking news…..dressing up like a woman is not funny anymore. I always picture this guy in the bathroom stall looking down at his high heels as he lays a hideous massive. I wonder what the guy in the next stall is thinking.
The Guys who don’t give a crap:
Of course, there are the rouges who can’t be bothered with costume day. They typically hate everyone in the office. These are my heroes.
This is them responding to the question “What are you supposed to be? ”
If you find yourself pressured into wearing a costume for the office costume day, here is a tip that will save you from looking like total douche.
Use safety pins to pin about 30-40 packs of Smarties Candy onto each pant leg (jeans work the best).
You’re Mr. or Mrs. Smartie pants.
This way, you can avoid being anti-social, but still keep some dignity. As a bonus, you get to eat Smarties all day.